Fear of Success

Do we let fear of failure stop us from succeeding? Perhaps it is fear of success that gives us stumbling blocks? I am not brave. I struggle each day to stand up for myself, to speak up whether verbally or through my writing. I am still the scared little girl who believes she can’t do that. A wise woman, Ms. Glenoria Jennette, my mentor since high school, told me I had a choice, I could allow my fears (whatever they are) to keep me from doing what I want, or I could face them and see what I can do.

Whenever fear threatens me, and it is too often, I try to remember that girl who wanted to be a cheerleader and everyone told her she couldn’t because she’d be the only white girl on the squad. I learned then that sometimes it is best not to let those people inside your head. Whether you are going against societies limitations or your own fears, taking the chance can be like free falling from a plane. It’s real exciting until you see the ground. There are real risks in taking chances. No woman ever made history by behaving, that’s paraphrased from a popular sign but it is truth. If you want to succeed then you must face the possibility of failure but you also have to understand what success can mean also.

I love to write, my greatest dream is to be a published author. If this dream comes true then there will be times I may not be able to have breakfast with my friends, babysit my grandchildren. I may have to make hard choices due to schedules and deadlines. I want to do it all but I cannot be in two places at once. I cannot divide myself into but so many pieces. I may have to say no to something that means a lot to me. Am I willing to do that to see my dream come true? Am I afraid of success or failure?

As I take the next steps on my career ladder, I hope that my friends and family will understand if I have to say no. I hope that we can find a way to make it work even if I miss a few precious moments. I know that my grandchildren are growing fast and I have only a little time to enjoy their childhood. I know that we are not promised tomorrow. That each day with my mom and in-laws is a blessing. There are people and things that are important to me and my choices may have to come down to two equally important things. I hope I make the right choices and that whoever (or whatever) is put aside for the moment will realize that they are still very special to me and will allow me another chance to be with them.

Success has its rewards but it also has its obligations.

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